Since I arrived here in Canada I went to the airport more than 10 times, I say that now I can go there by car, by TCC, on foot or even with my eyes close. And how many farewell parties did I go? To be honest, I stopped to count when I went to the 20th .
I have seen 15 people, I have taken 15 friends to the customs that leads to the gate and back to their homeland. I even saw one crossing the gate twice, can you believe it?! In certain ways, in all these experiences in the airport, farewell parties and bar hopping, I shared with them my fears, insecurities and also the lessons that I learned with them.
All of us had to start our lives here in Canada from scratch. I remember, when I landed and stepped onto Canadian soil for the first time. I was clueless. I asked myself what will be my future, how I will manage to survive where I did even not know their language well? We managed to push ourselves to make new friends, find a homestay or a share-house. We all achieved of those to find a new home, so called family (with different background, nationality and beliefs) and also we built a new life here. That`s why, I think all of the times that I went to airport or to farewell parties I saw them cry... Some of them cried in front of everybody, others went to the washroom and all of them cried inside the airplane when it took off.
In one of the farewell parties that I attended, a Japanese lady said to my friend that was sobbing: "Now, you are leaving the people behind that loves you . You will meet again, in your country, people that also love and care for you. So cheer up! Imagine, how many lucky ones have people that care and love them in different parts of the world? So, be proud of yourself, give me a smile and be happy! "
Why some of us are so uncertain about going back? Because we know that most of the things will be the same, but deeply inside us, we know that something changed, we changed... Or maybe, we had the opportunity not only know a different country, culture, but we took the challenge to know more deeply yourselves.
Also, by the same token we had a lot of expectations about here; we have about how we are going start when we arrived in our homeland. The expectations come also with fear that we might not achieved or accomplish these expectations.
If it's hard to start a new life in a new place that we don't know. It's more difficult to start a new life in a place that we have already been and known well. I listened to them and some of them told me how difficult it would be to go back to their jobs. There might people that they don`t want to meet or who might not even speak. There might be a university that he or she did not like to go back to... Some may not have wanted to go back to the life that they used to have before.
The last time that I took a friend to the airport, I remembered telling her: " If you think that it is hard to leave, trust me, it's much harder for those who stay!". In my case, it is really difficult when I see them go because everything comes together…. I miss my family. I know that sooner or later I will also be one of them and crossing the gate. I can't imagine how my life is going to be when I go back to my country. Also, I am afraid that I will never see that friend(s) anymore. Also, the friendship that we built won't be the same and that lessons that we shared, learned together, he/she won't apply in his/her life.
However, when I see them coming to say "see you" or give me a hug or kiss, I can't avoid remembering the first time that I met them and I realized how they changed for the best. Also, I noticed that, most of them, gained some extra pounds! Besides, I wonder, if this will happen to me, if I will change and if I will apply the knowledge that I acquired here when I go back. Although, when I see them waving at me from the gate' s door the fear that I won't see or meet them again disappears and a feeling of deep happiness fills my eyes with satisfaction.
Usually (all the times) I cry when I go to the airport for all the reasons that I said above, but I didn`t weep or sob at the last one. At the moment, that I said that it was harder for those who stay… My family came to my mind. Also, I remembered that I didn't cry when they brought me to the airport to take the flight to come to Canada. Why? Because I knew and I know in my heart that there are some things that will never change! And I know that what I lived and what I felt with my Brazilians, Japanese, Koreans, Latinos, Filipinos, Canadian Family will never change, too!
So, instead of dealing with this situation with such a negative approach, let us listen to the Japanese lady and let us face this new chapter of our lives as an opportunity to restart a new life with people that we love so much!
Let us enjoy this new trip of our lives and same way that we can learn about ourselves in a new culture, new country and embrace them. We can do it in any place, the only thing that we need is trust ourselves, be willing to do it and follow our instinct to take this journey.
To change the life around us, first of all, the revolution, as we can say, must first happen inside us... And it doesn`t happen so fast! So, trust yourself, be determined and take your time. In this way, everything will be new again, even the old things! The only things that remain the same are the people that really love us, the people that we love and the true friends!
Ps.: Thanks Jaime for editing this post… My other editor went back to his country.
